Sometimes I just want to scream this as loud as I can. This nowhere even comes close to the pain I feel.
Looking over the things I just wrote I see my ego and a whole lot of I’s. I know that I am not alone in this pain. Truthfully I see this pain in my family everyday. I hear our son speak of his baby brother. My husband and I talk about Vohz. He existed, he was a person, even if the time in his physical body was short. I’m not sure of many of your beliefs but mine is that even the ones who have left still have a type of “existence” in this world.
Anyways the point at hand is after experiencing this terrible loss, in my experience with mourning is that I get more upset is that people want to act like Vohz went away completely. No! I feel him everyday and while some may do this in sadness I do not. He was here and I celebrate his life, I continue to celebrate his life. He would not want us to be sad but appreciate. It will never go away. Each year, a birthday, Holidays, EVERYDAY. I have two sons, I will always have two sons, I just get to celebrate mine a little different than “normal.”
I’ve read many articles about the ego. My ego (I) wants to be sad but that sadness is for myself. Pity that I am missing out, that my husband and son are missing out. That Vohz is missing out! I refuse to be sad because I am not sad for him. He deserves happiness. Our family needs to be as happy as possible.
Many have went through the painful loss of a loved one. We have heard all the typical cliche lines and even said them a few times. Those things need to be said. It is a healthy part of healing. Putting it out there, addressing the elephant in the room. They were here and will always have a place. Just because you act like it didn’t happen doesn’t mean it didn’t. Don’t let your mind hold onto the pain. Release that energy- It will never go away. Each year, a birthday, Holidays, EVERYDAY. I have two sons, I will always have two sons, I just get to celebrate mine a little different than “normal.”
as always live well my friends!
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